It's such hard work, social interaction.
It's like studying a masters course in French. It's a huge, gut-wrenching effort to concentrate all day, every day. And if you lose concentration for even a minute, you're lost, and everyone has passed you by.
I give up. No, really. If it takes this much effort to make a friend, and if one can lose them so randomly, what's the point? Nope. Logic says the task is pointless. Think Sisyphus.
Time to go back to what i'm best at. Being alone. Travelling, exploring, working, drinking, eating. Only this time, i'm not going to feel self-conscious and depressed that noone is with me. There is noone I can take along, and i've seen far too many single travellers for it to seem unusual to me any more.
And idle claims, these are not. Testing has happened. I've already spent a weekend on short forays into the rest of Ile-de-france. I was out all sunday, and i had to make myself come back before the metro service ended. And here i thought i'd never be comfortable enough walking around alone. Clearly, i have changed a bit since coming here.
And i'm even enjoying speaking in french in casual situations. Of course, the average frenchman tends to quiz me on religion when they find out i'm indian. But we cross that subject soon enough. One of the joys of life, talking to strangers on a train. Kind of a confidence boost too. And not just with respect to my french.
I am also grateful that someone pointed out to me the ease of travelling around europe from here. In less than 4 hours, I could be sitting with my feet in the waters of the french riviera, all the way across the country, I could be in Munich, Amsterdam, Brussels, and heck, even Barcelona is only a little over 4 hours away.
This is a huge realisation for someone who is prone to thinking of a 400km journey being overnight. I guess all those years of trichy-chennai and bangalore-chennai trips have left a little mark somewhere. For a lot of people here, their entire country can be crossed at it's broadest section in a lot less time.
So i'm going to do a little euro-tripping for a bit. Just a little. Maybe by then i'dve worked out this internship issue. And then... road trip! It's been nearly 6 months since i drove a vehicle. I won't say that it's driving me crazy, but i really miss it. My bike (no longer mine. damn.), a little more than my car, but still.
Oh, and i've also started writing. Seriously. I won't say i haven't written anything before, but... Oh wait, I can't say that it's the first short story i've written. I can't even say that it's the first i've sent in for a contest. Hmmm... it certainly does seem like a first of some kind. Hang on...
Ok, it is the first story of mine that has a chance of being published. The only things i've sent out before were stuff printed in the newspaper, or in reply to contests. And those don't count.
Let's see how this turns out. I suspect that the only purpose this will serve, is to be practice. But hey, we have to start somewhere. Is that not so, mon ami?
It's like studying a masters course in French. It's a huge, gut-wrenching effort to concentrate all day, every day. And if you lose concentration for even a minute, you're lost, and everyone has passed you by.
I give up. No, really. If it takes this much effort to make a friend, and if one can lose them so randomly, what's the point? Nope. Logic says the task is pointless. Think Sisyphus.
Time to go back to what i'm best at. Being alone. Travelling, exploring, working, drinking, eating. Only this time, i'm not going to feel self-conscious and depressed that noone is with me. There is noone I can take along, and i've seen far too many single travellers for it to seem unusual to me any more.
And idle claims, these are not. Testing has happened. I've already spent a weekend on short forays into the rest of Ile-de-france. I was out all sunday, and i had to make myself come back before the metro service ended. And here i thought i'd never be comfortable enough walking around alone. Clearly, i have changed a bit since coming here.
And i'm even enjoying speaking in french in casual situations. Of course, the average frenchman tends to quiz me on religion when they find out i'm indian. But we cross that subject soon enough. One of the joys of life, talking to strangers on a train. Kind of a confidence boost too. And not just with respect to my french.
I am also grateful that someone pointed out to me the ease of travelling around europe from here. In less than 4 hours, I could be sitting with my feet in the waters of the french riviera, all the way across the country, I could be in Munich, Amsterdam, Brussels, and heck, even Barcelona is only a little over 4 hours away.
This is a huge realisation for someone who is prone to thinking of a 400km journey being overnight. I guess all those years of trichy-chennai and bangalore-chennai trips have left a little mark somewhere. For a lot of people here, their entire country can be crossed at it's broadest section in a lot less time.
So i'm going to do a little euro-tripping for a bit. Just a little. Maybe by then i'dve worked out this internship issue. And then... road trip! It's been nearly 6 months since i drove a vehicle. I won't say that it's driving me crazy, but i really miss it. My bike (no longer mine. damn.), a little more than my car, but still.
Oh, and i've also started writing. Seriously. I won't say i haven't written anything before, but... Oh wait, I can't say that it's the first short story i've written. I can't even say that it's the first i've sent in for a contest. Hmmm... it certainly does seem like a first of some kind. Hang on...
Ok, it is the first story of mine that has a chance of being published. The only things i've sent out before were stuff printed in the newspaper, or in reply to contests. And those don't count.
Let's see how this turns out. I suspect that the only purpose this will serve, is to be practice. But hey, we have to start somewhere. Is that not so, mon ami?
2 comments:
Oh hey a new post! And just as I was wondering why the "Friends" folder in my google reader is perpetually empty
Heh, the answer to that would be, "Clearly you need some new friends."
Plus I shall put up another one tomorrow.
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