Duh

I'm usually a cheerful feller, aren't i?? Ok, i know, i'm usually too quiet in company for anybody to tell. Despite appearances, my usual state of mind(when with friends) is a quiet amusement. Amusement at the joy i feel, in just being in the presence of friends. I find it extremely childish. Its amazing really, how happy i feel when i'm hanging out with the guys (or gals, as the case may be), but maybe not so surprising considering how i spend my days at college. I often ask myself if people in hostels everywhere live as i do. A life of utter isolation and silence broken by the odd word here and there where need dictates. That 'chatting with friends' thing seemed to have died out with school. Pity really, it was a lot of fun. But i guess its my fault really. I'm permanently attached to my laptop and my bed or desk, either reading or writing or just messing around. None of which include leaving the room, naturally... Whatever it is i do, it always involves a team effort by a sum total of, please note, one. Me. Its unhealthy really, all this introvertism. I can tell by the fact that when i do have coversations with friends nowadays, they are, more often than not, stilted, short and full of hem's and haw's... pathetic, i say!! Whats the point of being proud of an above-average vocabulary if i let it rot in my head... But enough of that. I'll try to start 'mingling' again when i start my Master's in another college. Hopefully, i'll do better then... wouldn't count on it though...

The reason i started this post(in case anybody wondered at the topic) was to say that i feel like a dunce. An utter fool. An imbecile, if you will...
I go through quite a few blogs when i'm in the mood. Those of my friends, and random ones(blogspot conveniently provides)... And the one thing that i have found is that, statistically speaking, most people when writing on their blogs seem very... formal. It appears, from the vocabulary at least, that they have taken a lot of time and effort(read thesaurus-usage) to draft their posts. But the contents of most blogs seem casual, off-the-cuff kinda stuff. Stuff like personal thoughts and experiences which seems to indicate that they write like i do, when the mood takes them. And yet they write with a fluency and command of language that i cannot hope to attain. Either most people who start blogs are in fact, good writers, or it only seems that way to me. Either way, its very depressing...

I feel dumb...

And disgusted that i'm practically crying in public...

I knew i should have finished one of the other posts that i'd started!!

Oh crap!